


Just a Number

by Flora (florahart)



Category: What's Your Number? (2011)
Genre: 5+1 Things, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-20
Updated: 2012-12-20
Packaged: 2017-11-21 18:33:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,963
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/600849
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/florahart/pseuds/Flora
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ally and Colin celebrate their anniversary(s)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Just a Number

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sunsetmog](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunsetmog/gifts).



**One.**

"Seriously? A whole year?" Colin narrowed his eyes. "I think you're just fuckin' with me. It's only been twelve months."

Ally snorted and fixed his tie. "Oh, well in that case, I can take back your gift."

"You got me a gift?"

"Well, _yeah_. And it's a pretty spectacular gift, if I do say so myself."

Colin shrugged. "'Kay. I could go with sappy and say I already have the best gift ever...but I like presents. Give."

"Nope. After you come home."

"I kinda hate you."

"Hey, I gotta give you something to look forward to at the end of a long hard day in the salt mines."

"Yeah, well, it's not so bad."

"You can stop, you know," Ally said. "We'd be okay if you didn't take any more gigs like this. I mean, not _today_ you can't stop, because bailing on people at their weddings is really shitty, but--"

"But nothing." Colin put his arms around her and pulled her up against him. "Tell you a secret?"

"Ooh! Can I try to guess?"

"Go for it."

"You actually don't suck at basketball?"

"I wouldn't go that far. I may have been slightly understating my case in our first game, but I do, in fact, suck at basketball."

"Well _that's_ disappointing. Twenty is supposed to be perfect."

"I _am_ perfect, baby. You said so yourself just a few hours ago."

"No, that was your _penis_ that was perfect. You are not your penis."

"Oh, I don't know. Sometimes maybe I am. I think you might have even implied as much once. So, you give up?"

"On what? Ohhh! Your secret. Ummm..." Ally tapped her lower lip and looked up into the corner of the ceiling. "It's not that thing about using mom's good silver to scratch your balls, is it? Because, I mean, that's not really a secret."

"What?"

"Well! I told Daisy, and she told Eddie..."

"Seriously? No wonder your mother still hates me. But that's not my secret."

"No? Why did you even do that, anyway?" "

"Because I am not--her words here, not mine--classy like Jake. And my nails were too fucking short to get the itch, and you were not supposed to _catch_ me."

"Oh, right. That makes sense. And you _did_ wash it. So what's the secret? I give up."

"I don't actually hate doing receptions any more. I mean, I'd rather be doing my own stuff, but the best thing that ever happened to me happened at a reception." He dropped his chin down for a kiss, then stepped back and shrugged. "It changed my attitude a little."

"Long as it didn't change the rest of you." Ally squeezed his ass. "I like the rest of you."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. Hey, you sure you don't want me to come with you?"

"To the wedding of someone named J. William Kensington the third?"

"I was more thinking to the reception." She smirked. "I still have that one dress... I could hang out near the cloakroom, in case of opportunity for shenanigans."

"Shenanigans? At a wedding? Is that a thing?" He chuckled. "I like the way you think."

 

**Two**

"This is never going to work," Ally said. "I--why did I let you talk me into this? This is terrifying!"

"It'll work." Colin reached around her and hit _enter_. "For one thing, there's no way for it not to. Nothing ventured, nothing gained, but something ventured, nothing lost--they'll still be awesome even if the citizens of Etsy don't know it. What's the worst that could happen?"

"I end up on Regretsy?"

"That won't--okay, that _could_ happen, but it's not going to because Freaky Figurines are not regrettable, and even if it does, free advertising." 

"I could be inundated with orders and be unable to keep up."

"They're one of a kind. They're _art_. People can wait for art."

"Not if it's for the top of a wedding cake! They can't wait for that!"

"So you prioritize. Here." He clicked on edit and added a line: _Orders may receive priority handling depending on dates by which they are needed. Fees for rush orders will be negotiated case by case._

"Still! What if there are too many?"

"Then you tell people you can't accept their orders. Good problem to have."

"What if I buy all these supplies and then no one--"

"Ally. They will." Colin pulled back her chair and held out a hand. "Come here. Look, how many orders do you want there to be?"

"In how long? I mean, I can't make ten a day! Or even one a day!"

So, maybe five a month? There have to be five people a month who'll want their own personalized Ally Darling original. Maybe not this month, but in a while, right?"

"Five's not so bad."

"So what would be bad? Fifteen? Eighteen? ...Twennnnty?"

Ally sighed and stood, bringing her arms up around his neck. "Now you're just messin' with me. You know I love twenty."

"Oh yeah? Well I think I got something to say about that."

"What's that?"

"He loves you, too." Colin dropped his chin and kissed her. "And, he knows you can do this. It's gonna be great. No more marketing, right?"

"I haven't quit yet. Maybe I never will. Maybe this will just stay a hobby." She looked down at his chest. "I think I'm scared."

"No, really?" He kissed her again. "Hey, new topic. We said we'd go pick up Daisy Junior by five and I want pizza first. You wanna take the posting down before we go?"

"No! Yes! Shit! Shit, I was supposed to stop saying shit! Daize is gonna kill me if Rachel picks that shit up."

Colin shook his head. "Hopeless. You're hopeless! But gorgeous, as well as talented. Come on, Al. I have faith. You taught me faith."

"I did?" Ally straightened her shoulders and nodded. "All right. All right, we'll see how it goes. But if no one orders, I'm still going to have to use up all this clay, right?"

"Not gonna be a problem."

"And if I have too many orders--"

"My hands are at your service. Not like that. Well, no, like that, too, but that's not what I meant. Come on, pizza calls.

 

**Five**

"So, I know tradition says I'm not supposed to do the toast here, but we're--I don't know if you know this, but Ally and sometimes, just _occasionally_ , I aren't very good at traditional." Colin winked at Daisy, who sat back down. "Thanks, Daize, I'll just be a second."

He looked at Ally. "Sometimes people ask me how I knew she was the one." He looked around the room. "I'm still not sure how anyone could possibly _not_ know she's the one, but putting that aside, I just wanted to tell you a story."

"Please don't be the naked in the harbor story," Ally said. "Oh, or the one about Miami."

Everyone laughed; most of them knew at least one of those stories. Colin waited. "So, this isn't how I knew, because I think that happened during the naked in the harbor story, which by the way was five years ago today, but this illustrates why we work. So, Ally has this t-shirt that she got a little more than four years ago now. It says, _Mary's number one_. It didn't come that way - it was an ordinary t-shirt and she painted it on there. You've all seen the way she paints the figurines, right? So you can just imagine, the letters are all over--I mean, beautiful, but colors all over the map and shapes and stuff? So it's this wacky, handmade shirt, and the first time I saw it, I asked her if Ally was a nickname or something that I somehow didn't know about, because I would have thought at this point I would know if her legal name were Mary, right? Have you guys seen this shirt?"

Daisy nodded and grinned at him from her seat.

"Anyway. She just said no, and wore the shirt to the store and to the beach and it made her smile, and I had no idea what the joke was, but I love her and if she wants to give props to Mary, who'm I to have a problem, right? and then one day six months down the road, I turn on the TV and there's this commercial. I don't even know what it's a commercial for, but this woman is talking about being the youngest of a bunch of kids and wearing hand-me-downs, and she says, 'I had a shirt that said _Mary's number one!_. My name is Ally.' So, like I said, I already knew Ally was the one, but what this said to me was, just... She told the joke, her own way, and she didn't apologize to me or anyone else for being obscure, and didn't explain it because she trusted me to get it or not, and she didn't insist I laugh with her. She liked herself for herself, and I like her for herself, too. So that's why I'm marrying Ally. It took me a while--"

"Which is mostly on me," Ally said with a wave. "I kept having cold feet like icicles even though he like rubs them and heats me up every day... okay that sounded a little dirty, but I'm entitled because it's my party and I'll be dirty if I want to, and anyway Colin, as you were saying?"

"As I was saying," he agreed with a chuckle. He lifted his glass. "It took me five years, but here we are, so. To my Mary-slash-Ally, who is and will always be number one."

 

**Ten**

"I can't believe we're spending our anniversary in the hospital," Ally said. "I'm _so sorry_."

"Not your fault, babe. Anniversary's next week, by the way." 

"That's the _wedding_ anniversary. I'm talking the _real_ anniversary. Harbor Day."

"Yeah, I know." Colin shifted Mary onto his other shoulder and took Ally's hand. "Anyway, wherever we are is where we celebrate, right?" He smiled at her. "We've done some pretty silly places."

"Yeah, but usually it's not because my stupid body decided to go bananas for _no reason_ ," she said, glaring at the bulk of her belly. "Hey kid, in our family it's the _first_ kid that creates trouble."

Colin shook his head. "Hate to tell you, but I think any kids the two of us have are equally likely to be troublemakers, whether they're two or unborn. Part of the charm, you know? And your body isn't stupid. Your body is never stupid in any context. I like your body."

"You're just saying that because you don't want the waterworks to start again."

"Hm, no. I don't want the waterworks, but, when have I ever lied to you?" He glanced down at his phone and nodded, then considered the chairs in the room. "Okay." He set Mary down against Ally's side. "Just for a sec," he said.

"Hey baby girl," Ally said. Mary scrubbed at her face with the back of one hand, then settled. "You going for coffee?"

"Nope. Makin' Miss Mary a bed." Colin pulled the chairs together, front edges face to face, and pulled his belt out of their loops to go around the front legs where they touched, above the crossbar. "Just her size."

Ally lifted her head to look over Mary, then nodded. "Looks good." Colin picked Mary back up and arranged her in the chairs, swiping the extra blanket off the foot of Ally's bed to put over her. "What, are you guys staying?"

"'Til they kick us out," Colin said. "Well, me, I mean. Daize'll be by in half an hour or so for Mary." He watched for a minute to make sure she was still asleep, then walked around the foot of the bed and toed off his shoes. "Okay?"

Ally rolled away and lifted the blanket, making room for him behind her. "Long as I stay on my left side," she said. 

"So I remember." Colin slipped into the bed behind her and slid his arm under her head. "Sorry this isn't much of a celebration, but we'll just make do, huh?" He left some space between them so he could rub her back. "Still feeling shitty?"

"Oh so very," Ally said. "Who knew there could be so many random reasons to end up in the hospital nine weeks early?"

"Well, it's going to be fine. And whenever they spring you, we'll have cake."

"What kind of cake?"

"What, you want me to ruin the surprise?" Colin brought his arm up over her hip, putting his hand flat on her bulging belly. "The good kind, promise."

 

**Twenty**

"Ugh, don't touch. I'm all paintey," Ally said, leaning back into Colin's hands on her shoulders. "I really want to get this one done, but I keep fucking it up."

"One, I am washable and it wouldn't be the first time you got paint on me. In fact," Colin grinned down at her. "In fact, I seem to remember some extremely thorough paint tattoos in intimate places. But. Two, Daisy needs to drive Rachel back up to school, so she's dropping the boys in half an hour, just when the girls should be home. Want me to take all of them somewhere and leave you to work?"

Ally had sighed and started to pack up her stuff at the news the boys were coming over, because as much as she loved her nephews, they were not easy on crafting supplies, but she stopped when he suggested taking them out. "Oh, would you?"

"I would. I got nothing tonight, and besides, I think Tommy could use some good videogame time. That kid is way too serious and I see it as my role to work on that." He leaned forward for an upside-down kiss. "I do have a price, though."

"Oh yeah? What's that?"

"To be named later," he said. "I like to take my advantages where I can find them."

"Somehow that's not news to me," Ally said. She reached up and grabbed his ear to pull him back down, then turned in her chair. "Half an hour, you said?" She waggled her eyebrows at him.

"Thought you had painting to do."

"Well yeah, but if I have a couple of hours to myself, I bet I can make some time for a down payment right now..."

He pulled her up out of the chair. "What'd you have in mind?"

"New paint tattoo? Although... only half an hour? Maybe that should be for later."

"Well, whatever else could we do with the half hour?"

"Ummm, there could be kissing?"

"I think we can do better than that. After all, it _is_ our anniversary." Colin picked her up, then winced and set her back down. "Okay, apparently my back got old in the last couple of months."

Ally crinkled her nose. "You need ice?"

"Oh, hell no. I need kissing better. But maybe we should both walk to the bedroom."

"Sorry."

"Not your fault" He winced again and headed for the bedroom. "But maybe you better be on top."

"You're ridiculous. Stop." 

He stopped in the hall and she wrapped her arms around him from behind, moving to unbutton his jeans. "Now, where's it hurt?"

"Not there."

"Really? You don't keep your dick on your back? I'm shocked, babe. _Shocked_." She tugged his shirt out of his waistband. "Oh, hey, sorry, paint on your shirt."

"Whoops." He turned around and pulled his t-shirt off over his head, catching her hands and wiping them both off roughly. "There. All better, and I'm fine, it was just a twinge. Now, you were going to manhandle me a little for our--how did this happen-- _twentieth_ anniversary?"

"Just a little. Twenty deserves it, right? But that'll be after the kissing better. Okay, maybe _during_ the kissing better. One of those." She pushed him ahead of her and kicked the door closed behind them. 

 

**(and Twenty-one)**

Ally poured batter onto the griddle from a measuring cup, shaping the pancakes just so, then turned to check on the girls. "Lizzie, you keep your fingers out of Mary's syrup. And shh, Dad got in late from recording last night."

"Then why're you makin' him pancakes?" Lizzie asked. 

"Because in our household, young lady, we like to eat and he'd be sad to be excluded." Ally flipped the pancakes , then pulled out a ridiculous placemat and plastic flowers to put on the tray. 

"How come he gets to eat in bed?"

"Because unlike certain young ladies I know, he doesn't get syrup in the sheets if I let him eat there." Not that that had stopped them a hundred times before, she thought with a grin. "You guys finish up, and then _if_ you wash all the stickies off and agree on a show, you can do some cartoons, okay?"

Ally took the tray and the pancakes to the bedroom and opened the door quietly. Colin opened his eyes. "Hey. Happy anniversary," he said. "Ooh! Is that pancakes I smell?" He pushed upright, and Ally took a few seconds to enjoy the flex of his shoulders and the hard planes of his chest, then she set down the tray.

He looked at the pancakes, a stack of twos and a stack of zeros arranged on the plate, and laughed. "We're doing twenty again this year?"

"First year of the rest of your life, mister, and don't you forget it." 

"Not a chance." Colin peered past her at the door. "Girls busy?"

"For a few minutes."

"Good." He lifted the tray off his lap and set it on the floor, then beckoned. "We got kissing to do."

**Author's Note:**

> So, and then Anna Faris was recently a guest client thing on Top Chef. More food enthusiasm was had for real, and she was adorable and hugely pregnant, so that had to go in here a little bit, too, although I sincerely hope she did not find herself having pregnancy drama many weeks early. I hope that's okay. :)


End file.
